It's a theme I've heard from two people in two days: love versus respect.
According to my male friend, "Women crave unconditional love. Men crave unconditional respect."
According to my sister, "Love is easy to come by. Respect takes a long time to earn, and it's more easily shattered. Relationships can subsist on love, if they must, but relationships thrive on respect."
Since it seems that my sister would disagree with my friend (after all, if she claims that relationships thrive on respect, why would a woman want respect less than love?) I propose an inquiry into what these two might mean by "love" and "respect," and see whether or not either of these claims have something to tell us about our own relationships.
Women crave love; men crave respect: How we are to think about the words "Love" and "Respect"? Are they nouns or verbs--if people want them, do they want to be the recipients of an essence (noun) or an action (verb)? If women want to know that they are loved unconditionally, this might be different from wanting to receive unconditional love, depending on whether they think of love as an essence or as an action.
Frederick Nietzsche once spoke about problematic character of words using this sentence: "Lightening strikes." This is redundant, for what is lightening if not the strike? What is love if not the action accompanying it? And how about respect?
I am of the opinion that if somebody wants to feel Loved or feel Respected, they want to feel themselves a recipient of an action associated with the idea of love or respect. If seen in this light, we then have to ask ourselves what the difference between the action of love and the action of respect entails. Is love a lavish display of affection, while respect is a more quiet act of approval?
What of the claim that it is easier to get love than respect?
This question has gotten too big for me to answer. I want your opinions:
What is love?
What is respect?
Do you think women want one while men want another? Do they want the same thing but use a different word?
Is there a quality to respect that makes it more desirable than love for a strong relationship? Can a relationship subsist on love while lacking respect? How about vice versa?
